Prospectus - Persuasive Essay

Hmm.. I'm not really sure what I should write my prospectus about since I'm still unclear on which topic I should do for my persuasive essay.. I think I might do it on why we should all drive hybrid cars, although this is subject to change in the next few hours.. days

I would focus mainly on the fact that in general, we should care more for our environment. Cars are a significant and important part of life, and if we can make a few large/significant changes in our lifestyles that play a big role, we can have a big impact on the environment (a positive one). Also, it's nice not having to fill up your car with gas as much! I'm currently getting around 41 MPG, while my dad averages about 51 MPG.. my car is a year older than his...

Ahh... or how video games and computer gaves have a negative and violent impact on us, I would pull real studies and cases where some have acted out of violence attributed to or related to the actual violence from a compter or video game they play.

I think I might have a couple more ideas, but I just have to make sure I get this posted by tonight!

Persuasive Essay

Hmm.. here are some topic ideas

1) Why we should all watch Glee!

2) Why we should all drive hybrids

3) Why we should all have charity-themed debit/credit cards - I have a WWF one!

4) Why we should all own a Droid/iPhone/smartphone

5) Why we should never give in to senioritis!

Cause/Effect Prospectus

I think now I'm steadily wavering between two different ideas for topics:

The cause and effect of living in an individualistic society, we are taught in such a "individualistic" way, and there's giant trademarks of our individualism prominent across society, such as how (for some odd reason) we use the customary system instead of the metric, the only country who does so. Also maybe how we call "football", "soccer". Things like these help exemplify the individualism our country promotes, unlike China!

I had another one but I forgot ahh! Sorry I'm incredibly stressed out right now and there's an infinite number of things on my mind right now, so it's unbelievably hard to concentrate :/

Topic Ideas

So I basically haven't left my house in four days except to go to school and work on other school related items, eeeeek. I also haven't thought about anything else except hunger, kinematics, electricity, circuits, magnetism, equilibrium, integration, logarithims.. I could go on but I'll stop here, so these ideas for my Cause/Effect essay may be a little.. bad?

Here we go!

The cause and effect of..

1) Abstinence only teaching, in schools

2) Technology, that's always a good one

3) Fast Food... so tasty, so cheap, yet have you seen the nutrition facts on that stuff? :/

4) Social Norms - conformity, yeaaaah!

5) School - yeah it sounds a little elementary school-ish, but if you think about it, what effect does it actually have on us? We're put in this rigorous system that seems to ONLY focus on taking hard classes to getting good grades to getting into a good college to getting a good, well paying job. Where does happiness lie in there? Don't really see room for it. I love the example of: my mother went to Central Washington University, and is now the CFO/temporary CEO of Evergreen Hospital, and one of her extremely good high school friends who we see quite often, went to NYU and grad school @ Dartmouth University, and is barely able to keep a job in this economy. Huh, fancy that, eh?

Anywho, I had more ideas but right now the only thing I can think about is my AP Calculus test in about 8 hours... I really hope I get to sleep tonight..

The Last Song - Quote Reaction

"Mom says it's because she has PMS. 
Do you even know what that means? 
"I'm not a little kid anymore. It means pissed-at- men syndrome" 

This is a quote from the book version of The Last Song. (I saw the movie the same day I finished the book, which I did so in two days over spring break, and I must say: I'm sorry, but Miley Cyrus ruined the movie, she is a terrible actress...) However, this quote I absolutely love! The entire tone of the book is kind of a love drama (with a teenage spin), a Nicholas Sparks trademark. The book circles around Ronnie, a rebellious teen and Will, your average rich/preppy/jock who happen to find each other in a small North Carolina town. Since most of the book entails the story  between the two lovers, I love this quote because it brings the reader back to a fun, cute essence -- Ronnie's little brother, Jonah. I couldn't help cracking up at this line, both in the book and the movie, because Jonah has an undeniable "little boy" charm, where he's a little bubble of happiness 100% of the time, because he has no reason not to be, he's in his own little world. This quote completely captures his essence and character and reminds how important it is to have people like these in our lives, who bring a little light into the sometimes seemingly endless darkness.

Prospectus!

Gosh, who should I profile for this essay?

I'm thinking maybe my mother, she's quite an inspiration. I would specifically ask her about her passion, which is running, and how it helps her cope with the struggles of everyday life.

Or Alice Wang, who has the future of our school in her hands for the 2010-2011 school year. It'd be nice to get to know who's behind that face that'll be running the entire school..

Or I could do someone I know less personally, such as LJ = Lamont Thomas, a man who got run over by a car when he was quite young, told he would never walk again, and is working everyday to continue to prove those doctors wrong. Now THAT'S an inspiration :)

Review Essay Revision

I'll have to admit that when we did revisions for our essay, mine was not completely finished..

So yes, I did take to heart what was said, although I was working in a 2-man group, yet I knew my essay needed quite a bit of work because it was not totally finished! I feel like I hear different feedback every time I work in these groups, which is quite helpful! I never hear the same things, I always get different pointers, to help me work on my essay.

I was told clarity was the issue this time, which I definitely went and worked on and hopefully fixed!

Review Essay

I kinda stopped midsentence.. oh well! :)

 

The Importance of Doubt

 

 

Upon first glance, many of us can hardly pronounce the title upon the first try, rel-ih-gyooh-lus? But even ten or fifteen minutes into the movie, we can see that the possibly amusing title doesn’t fail to disappoint the viewer, with a humorous take on a more serious topic. Combine the words “religion” and “ridiculous”, and what do you get? 101 full minutes of Bill Maher’s sarcastic, often crude and entertaining questioning of individuals of all different religions, often apt to provoke and promote controversy but nonetheless incredibly thought-provoking. Any man can come out and declare his doubt over religion, but it takes a different kind to be able to publicly shove his criticisms and disbelief in religion in the faces of those so highly involved and dedicated to the very subject.

 

Muslims, Christians, Jews, and Mormons, Maher not only interviewed but questioned them all on their faith. Each interview was a battle, but Maher came fully prepared for them, sometimes leaving the opponent in shock, sometimes almost hinting at their defeat. A believer or not, in any to every type of faith, this movie raises the importance of doubt, of questioning ourselves, of remembering to do those “reality checks” every once in a while, to make sure our feet are firm on the ground we may not consciously be aware of. Religion is a dangerous and controversial topic to discuss, with almost anyone, but Maher tackles the subject head on.

 

Religulous creates a spotlight for itself in a sea of both pro and anti Religion books, but Maher not so much as bashes on religion as questions it. For example, what’s the contrast between this and say, Bertrand Russell’s “Why I Am Not A Christian” or Christopher Hitchens’ (in)famous “God is Not Great”? Besides the obvious, of Religuous being a movie, and the two other being literary works, Religulous integrates the concept of the reactions of Maher’s statements, questions and accusations. When we are only given one side to a story, we can often find ourselves to be biased in a way to agree with the given side, but when we are able to see the reaction from the other side, only then are we able to form a truly unbiased and independent opinion.

 

Aside the seriousness of the movie, even for anyone who will whole-heartedly disagree with it, the film generates much laughter. One of the most striking and amusing moments was an interview with U.S. Senator Mark Pryror, who was quarreling with Maher, and at one point (almost mistakenly) admits “You don’t have to pass an IQ test to be in the Senate”, a failed attempt at defending his religious decisions and choices. (Comparable to Nixon’s, “I’m saying that when the President does it, it’s not illegal!). Paired with humorous little snippets of various sessions with different people, the movie’s satiric touch turns it into less of a lecture but more of a conversation between the viewer and the host, a debate between the two.

 

No one will defend Maher and say he gives the ultimate answer to whether there’s a God or not, whether to believe in religion or to not believe in religion. What Mayer does do, however, is take a stand himself, present what he has to say and everything he has to offer, and leaves it up to the viewer to take their stand dependent upon everything they’ve just seen and heard. Maher doesn’t come into this movie as a “newbie”, he’s hosted “Politically Incorrect” on ABC, and “Real Time” on HBO. He’s also written numerous bestselling pieces that cover politics and government. Giving you his credibility, ultimately he hopes to sway you over but he seems like he’d be satisfied even if he just opened your eyes a little more, to being more informed and questioning of not just religion, but everything in general.

 

Nonetheless, for $14.99 at Best Buy, you watch Maher attempt to disprove and dispute some of theology’s oldest and founding concepts. You can watch Maher make fools out of 

Perks of Being a Wallflower

This is one of my absolute favorite poems from a piece of literature, the Perks of Being a Wallflower by Steven Chbosky, kinda sad, nonetheless, makes you think, no?

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines

he wrote a poem

And he called it "Chops"

because that was the name of his dog

And that's what it was all about

And his teacher gave him an A

and a gold star

And his mother hung it on the kitchen door

and read it to his aunts

That was the year Father Tracy

took all the kids to the zoo

And he let them sing on the bus

And his little sister was born

with tiny toenails and no hair

And his mother and father kissed a lot

And the girl around the corner sent him a

Valentine signed with a row of X's

and he had to ask his father what the X's meant

And his father always tucked him in bed at night

And was always there to do it.

 

Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines

he wrote a poem

And he called it "Autumn"

because that was the name of the season

And that's what it was all about

And his teacher gave him an A

and asked him to write more clearly

And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door

because of its new paint

And the kids told him

that Father Tracy smoked cigars

And left butts on the pews

And sometimes they would burn holes

That was the year his sister got glasses

with thick lenses and black frames

And the girl around the corner laughed

when he asked her to go see Santa Claus

And the kids told him why

his mother and father kissed a lot

And his father never tucked him in bed at night

And his father got mad

when he cried for him to do it.

 

Once on a paper torn from his notebook

he wrote a poem

And he called it "Innocence: A Question"

because that was the question about his girl

And that's what it was all about

And his professor gave him an A

and a strange steady look

And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door

because he never showed her

That was the year that Father Tracy died

And he forgot how the end

of the Apostle's Creed went

And he caught his sister

making out on the back porch

And his mother and father never kissed

or even talked

And the girl around the corner

wore too much makeup

That made him cough when he kissed her

but he kissed her anyway

because that was the thing to do

And at three A.M. he tucked himself into bed

his father snoring soundly

 

That's why on the back of a brown paper bag

he tried another poem

And he called it "Absolutely Nothing"

Because that's what it was really all about

And he gave himself an A

and a slash on each damned wrist

And he hung it on the bathroom door

because this time he didn't think

he could reach the kitchen.

 

-- Taken from The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

Quote Reaction #?

A Long Way Gone, by Ishmael Beah

"Each time I lifted my feet, the veins in them tightened and and I felt the sand digging into my bleeding soles."

Now, I may be forcing a bit more out of this than is really there, but I'm sensing a metaphor here. Yes, his feet are bleeding and hurting terribly from the rough road he's been walking on for days on end, but inside, his "soul" is also bleeding. He's destroyed from all he's been through and seen lately, murder, violence, torture, he's seen it all. He's come an inch from death and seen those who he loves so dearly being taken away from him, in a literal and metaphorical sense. His soul is bleeding, it's being torn apart from all the hurt, and it's taken way too much damage in these past few weeks or months, whatever it's been, than in his lifetime.

Prospectus: Review Essay

I was thinking of doing a more controversial movie, or even topic:

Ms. Knox suggested Religulous for me, and from the basic knowledge I have without having seen the movie, and from the basic plot summaries I've read, I can assume that it takes a major beating on religion. I would combine this movie with a book I also have, written by Christopher Hitchens, titled "God is Not Great", another negative viewpoint on the topic of religion. If I were to use this topic, I would focus on topics/questions such as as: to what extent should religion be focused/used in America? To what extent is it actually used? How much of our nation is structured on religion? I am not sure whether I would struggle with this topic as I have no religious background whatsoever.

However, I could also do 500 Days of Summer, where I would focus on the topic of "Love Stories" as the movie is not a typical love story, in the end, the boy and girl do not end up together after the movie almost implies that they should be destined to be together. I would focus on working in other love stories, typical and atypical and compare them to this one, in the film industry. This topic may be more broad since love stories seem to be a common theme throughout all types of film.

I'm reluctant to choose because I want to make sure I choose a topic that I can relate to much other media (books, ideas, movies, etc.) and be able to give it a full, interesting review because the content was quite interesting!

Ahh.. "Writing Goals"

Well, I had this long written out speech/passage about my writing goals and what they mean to me, and how I feel about them, but apparently I forgot to hit submit and then Safari decide to "force close" on me, sweet! I'll try it again, then.

To me, writing goals are important yet, I feel like I never seem to accomplish them. I feel like for some people, like me, who struggle with writing, that we peak at a certain point. My abilities to write essays have obviously improved since the 3rd grade, yet I don't feel any real or obvious progress in the last couple or few years. I'm clearly a math/science person, Calculus is fun to me, and I strive in working to improve my skills and working to understand concepts in those types of classes, however, I struggle with English classes. I feel like with Math and Science, there's one absolute answer, and if you don't get the right answer on your homework, someone can specifically and clearly explain all the steps to you to arrive at that answer. I feel like it's different for English, you can get advice on how to improve your writing, but no one can tell you specifically how to write that perfect essay, how to make your writing have more voice, better transitions, more character. It's something you can be told, but yet you have to figure out how to do it on your own. This is why I feel like I never accomplish my goals, I know I struggle with many parts of writing, with all types of writing, I've been told that, but the problem is, I don't know how to overcome those difficulties. I'm one of those people who needs someone to say, "this is exactly what you need to do to get this right", but that can't happen in my essays. No one can tell me what to say to make it better, I have to be able to see the problem and be able to see the solution for myself. Maybe I'm just rambling and I have gotten better at expressing myself through written and even spoken word, but at times I feel like I've peaked, that my writing skill is at a standstill and I won't be able to improve it. I know I need to improve it but once again, my question is, how? After taking AP Literature and Composition last year in hopes of finding that Holy Grail that would suddenly make me into a good writer, I began to lose hope after having a year with what I called "The Hastig" and not passing the AP Exam in the spring. But I guess I've rambled on enough, so for the "nth" time, here are my writing goals.

1) Find a good topic, don't get writer's block

2) Learn how to flow, get in that writing "zone"

3) Voice, voice, voice! Hear myself in my essay

Roughly a rough draft

AHHH I'M NOT DONE YET, and I have no idea how to get the underlining to go away, but this is what I have so far!

How “Free” is Free Speech?

 

As an official citizen of the United States of America, we learn and are given this concept of “free speech”. Guaranteed to us by Article 19 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, we are supposedly encouraged to be limitless in our thoughts, ideas and both spoken and written word. But of course, common sense tells us there’s a limit to this, that just because the government “says” something doesn’t mean it’s true, and attached to free speech, there’s always that little asterisk next to it with the rules and limitations in size 4 font down at the bottom of the page.

 

Everyone knows those seven dirty words you aren’t allowed to say on the air, as George Carlin made famous in his 1972 monologue. Over thirty years later, and it seems as if an updated monologue should be written, and instead of the “Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television”, it should be titled something like, “The Five Hundred Words You Can Never Say On Television”. Take note though, it’s not just selective words that is censored through media, television and radio, it’s also content, news, stories. Who’s to say that what news stories are being 

Joan Didion Essay

Although I was only able to read about 3 pages of Didion's essay, titled "On Morality", I believe I got the "gist", or what I think it's to be, of the story.

Here's a quote from the essay, "Particularly  out here tonight, in this country so ominous and terrible that to live in is to live with antimatter, it is difficult to believe that "the good" is a knowable quantity."

What does the author mean by this? I'm not quite sure, which is why I chose this quote out of the limited number of sentences Google Books allowed me to read. What does she mean by the term antimatter? Does she mean it in a literal sense, as in that tiny little speck of stuff like in Angels and Demons that can wipe out a city in a fraction of a second? For the second part of the sentence, "it is difficult to believe that "the good" is a knowable quantity.": meaning, it is hard to define "good" in terms of a definitive amount?

Hmm..

Prospectus: Definition Essay (In Progress)

I'm having trouble deciding on a couple topics here..

I take an interest in writing about technology, what defines technology? Internet, computers, cell phones, video game consoles/video games, CD players, radio (XM, FM, AM). Where has technology taken us today? How much do we depend upon it, in everything we do? How much can we control it or harness its power, or vice versa? Where has it taken us today?What are the latest inventions and how are they benefiting mankind?

Or there's also, what is free speech? We're given the right to free speech in our constitution, but to what extent? To say whatever we want, in public, even if it demoralizes or demotes people? Or is it just free speech internally, to say what you want to yourself, in your head? Where's the limit, or is there a limit? How does free speech help embody the spirit of our nation, where we're supposed to be most proud of our "freedom"?

More to come.. but I want to get these two posted before I forget all my ideas and such!

Definition Essay

The definition of a definition essay?

An essay that means to convey to its reader a meaning of something, seeking to explain something either in their technical terms, or in the author/writer's terms. The essay can do this through three different ways, the "short" way - a pure definition, the "stipulative" way - conveying the meaning and context of the word, the "extended" way - not only including both methods previously mentioned, but including the author's take on the topic and what it means to them in their own words. It's more than an explanatory essay, it's one that not only explains, but gives meaning and opinion on a single idea or topic. The essay can be humorous or serious, and is not necessarily formated a certain way, but requires as much length as needed to fully explain, clarify, exemplify and describe the topic at hand

10 possible topics? Oh gosh, I am terrible at brainstorming but here goes..

The definition of/defining:

1) Technology - As I'm writing this, this is the second day in a row my internet (@ home) has gone down.. what is it about technology that makes me so dependent on it, its withdrawal is causing me to consider jumping off the nearest cliff?

2) Gender - Genetic makeup? Internal feelings? Biological disorders?

3) SUV's - I mean really, why do people drive those things? What good are they?

4) Presidency/Government - Why do we need people to lead us? What makes a great leader? Is there a such thing as a "perfect president/leader"? 

5) School/Standardized Tests - why do we go to school, get an education, try to get into a good college? The common answer: because I'm told I have to..

6) The Derivative - calc joke! But it would deal with change (m/slope), :)

7) An Essay - mm.. Essays :), what are they, now?!

8) Comfort - why is it that you can't sleep with your Uglydoll or stuffed bear every night? Why is it that your secret family recipe for homemade Mac & Cheese beats Filet Mignon or Seared Ahi Tuna anyday? (Well.. maybe not anyday but you catch my drift..)

9) Hygiene - mm.. do you actually wash your hands each time before you eat or after you go to the bathroom? What is hygiene? I'm telling you.. it's different to everyone, really.

10) Fashion - Comfortable? Risky? Standard? Haute Couture? High Fashion? Cheap? Expensive? Trendy?!

11) Music - what do we consider music? Sounds? Harmonies? Sweet Guitar Riffs? Anything except Miley Cyrus?

12) AP Statistics - Mr. Scaia, I thoroughly enjoy you, but Stats is a complete joke.. I mean really, it'd take me more than an essay to try and attempt to define that.

13) WoW - What is it about that game that makes it so addictingly entertaining? I mean, what is a MMORPG?

14) Culture.. Ethnicity.. Nationality - With what part of the world do we identify ourselves with? Our ancestors, native country or current country? Who knows! 

Writing Goals!

Writing Goals:

1. I am proud of the fact that I have written and completed this essay! Although it seems like a small accomplishment, for me, writing an essay is no easy task! I am also proud of the fact that I was able to find a topic I was passionate about, and could easily write about. The first time around I had made the decision to write it about cutting my hair (not just any haircut, but 15", and was going to relate it to change). After some thorough revision of my topic, I realized I should write it about something that had a much bigger impact on my person and my character. Just as writing an essay, I find choosing the topic to be an incredibly hard task. Although these two may seem to be the easiest, they are the most determinant in the entire process -- especially the topic which gives the entire essence of the piece.

2. What am I weaker in? I would have to say I am weaker in the fact that I struggle in forming the introduction and conclusion of my essay, the two outsides to my sandwich. Inside, I more easily fill the space, with the meat, vegetables and rest of the ingredients - however the two pieces that keep the entire structure together are so much more powerful and important that I struggle in writing them, and making sure they maintain their importance in the writing piece.

3. I hope to learn how to successfully name an essay, any piece of writing. Although I make sure I write the essay before I title it, I am still unsure of how exactly we're supposed to name these things! Of course I can give the standard, "Why You Should Only Eat Ketchup" titles, but I am rather lacking in creating catchy, mysterious and creative titles!

Personal Essay #2

The Accident

 

On a cold and foggy morning, I awoke to the first day of my last year of high school. Nervous and anxious, I was excited to finally be a senior. I couldn’t contain my excitement as I was finally allowed to drive to school, in a car that I could unofficially call “mine”. As I pulled out of the driveway, my father had his Nikon D60 out, taking endless pictures of my sister and I off on our first day. Driving away, I could hear my mother in the distance in her usual state of paranoia, “Katie, use your windshield wipers, turn on your defrosters!” Too caught up in the moment, the typical teenager I am, I tuned her out and turned up the volume in the car.

Driving along 24^th AVE, the road was quiet, calm, empty, without all those lucky ones who got to sleep in that morning. It was quiet, until I got to 198^th, about three blocks from my home. I went ahead and began to take the left, the next thing I heard was my sister, at the top of her lungs: “CARRR!!!”.

 

About 1/100^th of a second later, I saw it, a white 1998 Ford Explorer, heading west on 198^th, the road I was turning left onto. I felt like I was dreaming, I felt myself yelling “NO! STOP!”, hoping my car would suddenly obey my commands I helplessly yelled to it. But I wasn’t dreaming, I was fully awake, because 1/100^th of a second after that, we were both stopped, a giant white streak from the Ford on my car, a dent the size of my car’s front end in side of the Ford.

 

I had slammed on my accelerator instead of my brakes, and plowed into the other car as fast as my 143 HP hybrid engine would allow me. I sunk in my seat and as fast as everything had happened, everything began play back in my mind. So many things were running through my mind that it all of a sudden went blank, as if it went on overload and suddenly broke down. Everything that followed was truly an out of body experience:

Stepping out of the car to confront the other person, to see if they were alive. The phone call home to my parents. Both of my parents hasty arrivals’. The looks on the faces of my parents: the disappointment, the anger, the confusion, the panic. The exchange of names, insurance cards, information. The first time I saw the damage, my license plate and bits of my car lying on the ground. Being driven by my mother to school while my father brought my car home.

I must have broken down and cried in every single period throughout the day. I had yearned more than ever to go home, but by the time I got home I felt as if I’d rather be anywhere else. I walked by my car on the way to entering my house and I sat there for what felt like hours on end, with the biggest reminder of what had happened that morning. I made every move I could to avoid my parents that day, afraid of facing those whom I had so deeply disappointed.

We didn’t talk about what had happened until maybe a week later.

Alone in the car with my mother, I painfully brought up the topic that I had been crying endlessly over, the accident. The conversation was what I had expected, no they didn’t hate me, yes they were disappointed, yes they were revoking my driving privileges, and yes, I was going to have to help pay for the damages, which were likely to amount to over $2000.

$2000 dollars, that was $2000 more dollars than I didn’t have, and if anything, the money really help put into perspective what had just happened in a matter of one short week. The biggest factor that made the situation all the more real happened a few weeks later though. Driving along on my way to the grocery store, nervous to be driving again, I came to a standard four-stop intersection. As I looked to my right and then gradually to my left to check for cars, I saw a male, in a familiar looking white SUV. It was him, on the passenger side of the car and coincidentally enough, looking straight back at me. There was clear sorrow in his eyes and facial expression, and has he drove away I swore I could’ve seen him shake his head at me.

Maybe he’ll never forgive me, but in the greater scheme of things, my parents forgave me, and I’m slowly learning to forgive myself. In the present, in the moment, the accident was bigger than anything else that was happening, or anything else that had happened. Every day was a battle with myself, struggling to overcome what had happened and to slowly push past it. As I move closer and closer towards finally pushing past it, I’ve realized that although something may seem so big you’ll never be able to overcome it, in the end all is alright, and in the end, bigger and worse things will happen.

________________

Reflection on Revision!

I would say that I felt a bit different about the revision for the second time, although it's always hard to hear your own writing critiqued, when I know certain parts are shaky but are unsure on how to fix them, I find these writing groups the most helpful. I was unsure of how to write my conclusion, phrasing up everything I've learned without sounding cliché but upon asking my writing group, I gained much insight into how to compose the ending. Writing groups proved quite successful the second time around!

ALWG #3

From page 33,

"You left Mattru Jong because you don't like us." He put his gun on the old man's forehead and continued. "You left because you are against our cause as freedom fighters. Right?"

This quote angers me so much, I'll provide a little background for those who know nothing about the story. This quote is spoken by one of the rebels, who are violently going around from village to village and murdering mass amounts of innocent civilians for a cause they believe to be completely justified. Here's my question, why are you fighting freedom with war? If you really believe in freedom, why are you taking it away from all those you are displacing, and all those you are killing? To me, that's not freedom, that's mass murder. How can you fight freedom with violence? Aren't those two paradoxical? To me, this relates exactly to our war on terror, great idea, fight for freedom with a war, it's perfectly logical, right?

I know it's hard because their society and government is built differently, not a democracy like ours, however the rebels still seem like they're fighting against their own cause. What gives them the right to exterminate innocent men, women and even children? For what purpose or cause does this strengthen or help? To me, this question has no right answer, either that or the answer is for no purpose, and for no good reason.

Personal Essay

I think the ending needs some revision, a maybe a bit of length even, but here is the official unveiling of my personal essay..

The Accident

On a cold and foggy morning, I awoke to the first day of my last year of high school. Nervous and anxious, I was excited to finally be a senior. I couldn’t contain my excitement as I was finally allowed to drive to school, in a car that I could unofficially call “mine”. As I pulled out of the driveway, my father had his Nikon D60 out, taking endless pictures of my sister and I off on our first day. Driving away, I could hear my mother in the distance in her usual state of paranoia, “Katie, use your windshield wipers, turn on your defrosters!” Too caught up in the moment, the typical teenager I am, I tuned her out and turned up the volume in the car.

Driving along 24^th AVE, the road was quiet, calm, empty, without all those lucky ones who got to sleep in that morning. It was quiet, until I got to 198^th, about three blocks from my home. I went ahead and began to take the left, the next thing I heard was my sister, at the top of her lungs: “CARRR!!!”.

About 1/100^th of a second later, I saw it, a white 1998 Ford Explorer, heading west on 198^th, the road I was turning onto. I felt like I was dreaming, I felt myself yelling “NO! STOP!”, hoping my car would suddenly obey my commands I helplessly yelled to it. But I wasn’t dreaming, I was fully awake, because 1/100^th of a second after that, we were both stopped, a giant white streak from the Ford on my car, a dent the size of my car’s front end in the Ford.

I had slammed on my accelerator instead of my brake, and plowed into it as fast as my 143 HP hybrid engine would allow me. I sunk in my seat and as fast as everything had happened, everything began to run through my mind. So many things were running through my mind that it all of a sudden went blank, as if it went on overload and suddenly broke down. Everything that followed was truly an out of body experience:

Stepping out of the car to greet the other person, to see if they were alive. The phone call home to my parents. Both of my parents hasty arrivals’. The looks on the faces of my parents: the disappointment, the anger, the confusion, the panic. The exchange of names, insurance cards, information. The first time I saw the damage, my license plate and bits of my car lying on the ground. Being driven by my mother to school while my father brought my car home.

I must have broken down and cried in every single period throughout the day. I had yearned more than ever to go home, but by the time I got home I felt as if I’d rather be anywhere else. I walked by my car on the way to entering my house and I sat there for what felt like hours on end, with the biggest reminder of what had happened that morning. I made every move I could to avoid my parents that day, afraid of facing those whom I had so deeply disappointed.

We didn’t talk about what had happened until maybe a week later.

Alone in the car with my mother, I painfully brought up the topic that I had been crying endlessly over, the accident. The conversation was what I had expected, no they didn’t hate me, yes they were disappointed, yes they were revoking my driving privileges, and yes, I was going to have to help pay for the damages, which were likely to amount to over $2000.

Long story short, I learned one of the most important lessons of my life that day. As Winston Churchill said, “All men make mistakes but only wise men learn from their mistakes.” After moping over the accident for a month, after I had talked to the insurance agent, after I had the damages on my car repaired, after everything to be said had been said and everything to be done had been done, I decided it was time to move on. There was nothing else to do, but as Winston Churchill had suggested, which was to learn from the situation. I realized that life does go on, no matter what happens, life continues as it is. I realized I was lucky that no one was hurt, neither I nor the person whom I had crashed into. I realized I was lucky that the police weren’t called, that I didn’t receive a ticket. I was lucky that my parents had forgiven me and that mostly, I was able to learn an important, strong, vital lesson: forgive yourself for your mistakes, learn from your mistakes, and of course, don’t repeat them.

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Response to critique/revision

For me, reading my writing even to myself is always awkward, and always nervewracking, but I feel it provides a great opportunity for some revision and for some good critique - that even maybe the author may not notice the first time around when writing. However, I feel that the writing groups didn't appeal to me very much. Although I feel like I received some good criticism, especially for myself, it's hard to be completely honest. When I'm responding to an essay of someone I'm not extremely close to or don't know too well, I'm overly cautious about what I'm saying in order to not offend or upset them. For me, it's hard to hear criticism from other people which is also why I find the writing groups to be not so great, I know it's important to hear the truth yet the truth is often hard to hear. But in the end, as Ms. Knox said, the writer/reader always rules! So in conclusion, the writing groups helped me personally, in order to fix things I didn't know how to fix things I hadn't noticed, but I feel it's a bit stressful to read in front of others, to critique others essays' and to hear critiques regarding your own writing.

ALWG #2

"As we now stood at the wharf in Mattru Jong, I could visualize my father holding his hard hat and running back home from work, and my mother, weeping and running to my little brother's school. A sinking feeling took over me."

This quote originated on page 11, (I had another quote ready but I do not have my book with me as I am writing this!). To me, this quote speaks of intense sadness and almost regret. The character does not know if he will ever see his mother or father again, and all he is left with is his memories of them. At such a young age, he is experiencing a terrible sensation and feeling in contemplating his future, growing up possibly alone, without his family by his side. This quote, as well as the first one, helps set the lonely and sad tone for the book, as the rest of the story is the character's journey it attempts and hopes to recover his long lost family.

A Long Way Gone

Dear readers,

The book/memoir I'm currently reading is A Long Way Gone, by Ishmael Beah.

The quote that has stuck out the most to me has been on page 7 of the story, and it starts,

"On the morning that we left for Mattru Jong, we loaded our backpacks with notebooks of lyrics we were working on and stuffed our pockets with cassettes of rap albums... Since we intended to return the next day, we didn't say goodbye or tell anyone where we were going. We didn't know that we were leaving home, never to return."

I found this quote particularly important because I think early on, it sets the tone for the entire memior. It also raises some key questions, "was the narrator regretful that he didn't say goodbye to his parents?", "will he ever find his parents or loved ones in the village he'd never see again?", etc. The quote is important because it is one that causes you to think, what would've it been like if you were in the narrator's situation? A boy at an extremely young age in Sierra Leone, in a time of intense war and outcry, leaving his village on a seemingly normal day -- never to return to him or its inhabitants ever again.

Hm...

Sincerely,

Katie

Freewriting..

Dear readers,

Freewriting, is probably the most creative and unstructured form of writing in existence today. Freewriting is important because it allows the writer to be 100% expressive and limitless in truly conveying what exactly is on their mind. Thus, in a way, I agree with Dr. Fred Kemp, because the traditional "essay" is that wonderful, five paragraph essay we all know to love over these many years. However, this has been morphed into the "only"' essay we know how to write, it's what we're stuck with not only because we're comfortable with it -- but because it's all we know. 

The pros of freewriting? As Dr. Fred Kemp stated, it does eliminate the problem of "writer's block", but almost creates a new problem in allowing the reader endless possibilities of what to say. I agree with Dr. Fred Kemp (and other various critics) when he states that freewriting poses little possibilities other than for personal writing or overcoming writers block, however I feel it is still essential to just write freely every now and then. Many students often find themselves writing for one sole purpose, for school, while the freewrite enables the student to be boundless in their thoughts and notions.

I also find myself in agreement when Dr. Fred Kemp discusses how freewriting fosters a person's critical thinking. Freewriting breaks down the filter, the filter that allows through only what we think will get us closer to that "A". The filter sometimes blocks us from what we "want" to say and only allows through what we "should" say, often the two are quite different. Freewriting has no filter, anything can get through, anything can penetrate our brain and leak onto our paper, our computer, wherever we happen to be writing at the time. Freewriting, no matter how chaotic, unstructured, or purposeless critics (or people) can try to make it out to be, it's the essential base of all writing. Everyone should freewrite!

Sincerely,

Kate

#1

Dear readers,

This officially marks the first and foremost entry I have ever written, for a blog. More specifically, this blog is created in requirement of a class I am currently talking, Senior Composition - an English elective. Here I shall do many of the following, including responding to literature, sharing my own writing and using it as a forum for feedback on my writing

Love,

Katie