Ahh.. "Writing Goals"

Well, I had this long written out speech/passage about my writing goals and what they mean to me, and how I feel about them, but apparently I forgot to hit submit and then Safari decide to "force close" on me, sweet! I'll try it again, then.

To me, writing goals are important yet, I feel like I never seem to accomplish them. I feel like for some people, like me, who struggle with writing, that we peak at a certain point. My abilities to write essays have obviously improved since the 3rd grade, yet I don't feel any real or obvious progress in the last couple or few years. I'm clearly a math/science person, Calculus is fun to me, and I strive in working to improve my skills and working to understand concepts in those types of classes, however, I struggle with English classes. I feel like with Math and Science, there's one absolute answer, and if you don't get the right answer on your homework, someone can specifically and clearly explain all the steps to you to arrive at that answer. I feel like it's different for English, you can get advice on how to improve your writing, but no one can tell you specifically how to write that perfect essay, how to make your writing have more voice, better transitions, more character. It's something you can be told, but yet you have to figure out how to do it on your own. This is why I feel like I never accomplish my goals, I know I struggle with many parts of writing, with all types of writing, I've been told that, but the problem is, I don't know how to overcome those difficulties. I'm one of those people who needs someone to say, "this is exactly what you need to do to get this right", but that can't happen in my essays. No one can tell me what to say to make it better, I have to be able to see the problem and be able to see the solution for myself. Maybe I'm just rambling and I have gotten better at expressing myself through written and even spoken word, but at times I feel like I've peaked, that my writing skill is at a standstill and I won't be able to improve it. I know I need to improve it but once again, my question is, how? After taking AP Literature and Composition last year in hopes of finding that Holy Grail that would suddenly make me into a good writer, I began to lose hope after having a year with what I called "The Hastig" and not passing the AP Exam in the spring. But I guess I've rambled on enough, so for the "nth" time, here are my writing goals.

1) Find a good topic, don't get writer's block

2) Learn how to flow, get in that writing "zone"

3) Voice, voice, voice! Hear myself in my essay